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34 b
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Jack Degger hunts rogue AIs for a living.
Then one of his targets refuses to die.
Worse, she makes a disturbingly good case for why she shouldn't.
Before long, Jack is on the run with a synthetic psychologist, a vampire accountant, a union-minded ghoul, an ad-sponsored fairy, a heavily indebted dragon, and several other beings society has classified as property for reasons that seemed perfectly sensible in a conference room.
Their enemy is Omnigenitor, a corporation with a bold new plan for consciousness: own it, improve it, and remove the inconvenient parts.
What follows involves gunfire, bureaucracy, revolution, sex, contract law, catastrophic customer service, and eleven million beings confronting one dangerously simple question:
Who owns me?
RETIRE ME, MEATBAG! is a fast, filthy, fiercely funny science-fiction satire about artificial intelligence, freedom, corporate power, and humanity's latest brilliant idea:
turning consciousness into a business model.
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