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Going camping on Mars seemed like a great idea right up until the scratching started.
Jonah isn't an astronaut, a scientist, or an outdoorsman. He's just a civilian tourist with questionable judgment, a talent for making bad decisions under pressure, and a guided wilderness excursion booked on the most hostile planet humanity has ever tried to monetize.
At first, the trip is exactly what he paid for: alien landscapes, survival training, and the thrilling chance to embarrass himself in low gravity. But when a simple overnight camp turns into a series of unsettling noises, mysterious tracks, and a very bad souvenir, Jonah learns that Mars is not as empty as the brochures suggest.
How Not to Camp on Mars is a darkly funny sci-fi survival story about fear, curiosity, bad decisions, and the unsettling possibility that humanity is not the first thing on Mars to learn how to use abandoned machinery.