Better Divorce

This book will save you tens of thousands of dollars in your divorce, all for the price of one 6-minute phone call to your attorney.

Divorce is likely the most expensive thing you will ever undertake. Even for people with a working knowledge of the law, in the high-stress, high-stakes environment and confusing, arcane legal rules, good legal decision-making can become enveloped in a morass of emotionally and financially unsound "decide on the fly" decisions. Many divorce lawyers are not well-trained in true cost-benefit analysis and, because their interests are not always aligned with yours (you want it inexpensively and well; they want it done expensively and well), they may stoke the flames of emotion, rather than tamper them to reduce your costs and get to objective decision-making.

This book is the product of nearly 20 years' worth of in-the-trenches family law advocacy. The goal is to give you a working knowledge of family law, teach you how to make good legal decisions under high-stress, reduce the time to get it done, and how to control your lawyer to reduce your costs. The book covers general legal principles applied in the family law context, how to achieve the type of mindfulness practiced by fighter pilots and nuclear power plant operators operating in high-tempo environments, and how to think through cost-benefit approaches to divorce resolution. It starts from the premise that 90% of divorce cases should settle 100% of the issues and the other 10% should settle 90% of the issues. It helps you find your best and worst-case scenarios so that you can find a Range of Reasonable Outcomes to negotiate within. It teaches the Three Property Rules in divorce, so that you can understand Community and Separate Property. It teaches how to write killer declarations in child custody matters.

Peppered with anecdotes based on real cases, it uses storytelling to elucidate complex family law issues and help the reader make good decisions. I believe that you should have legal counsel early in your case and for as long as you can afford it, but that you should be involved in decision-making. I believe that cases should settle, but that traditional divorce mediation is a sucker bet unless you are armed with the law. This book gives you the family law framework and arms you with negotiation strategies to reduce your costs and, importantly, the time it takes to get it done.

You should always ask: what do I win if I win this motion? What is the cost to me of filing the motion? How likely are we to win this motion? If you do this, you can better gauge how to spend money on your lawyer.

Above all else, I counsel getting your divorce done as quickly as you can. Focus on tomorrow's $1 rather than yesterday's 50 cents. Move your life forward rather than getting mired in the past. Take actions that you can be proud of later. Laser focus, with fighter pilot devotion to the task at hand, on the outcomes you seek. This book will help you know what is a reasonable outcome and what is not, how to develop a strategy to get what you want, and how to comport yourself in a way that you can be proud of when you inevitably discuss your divorce later in life.

Dr. Egan holds a J.D. and a Ph.D. in Jurisprudence and Social Policy from UC Berkeley. He has written more than a dozen peer-reviewed publications on decision-making under high-tempo, high-stress conditions as well as disaster management. He has been a practicing lawyer in California since 2005. He has been a Certified Family Law Specialist, Certified by the California State Bar Board of Specialization since 2015.